Monday, March 5, 2018

So tired

SO TIRED





Its been s couple nights since I have had some good sleep. I am still taking  my meds but when you have a negative person constantly making you feel like your going nuts its not easy. I live with my mom for now and her ex boyfriend is here also. Hes a piece of trash. He is one of those people who will look at you and give you a compliment and at same time he is letting you know he dont like you and your useless. I swear he has been talking under his breath around me. At first I thought it was the voices in my head coming back. While I was cleaning up kitchen last night all he did was complain about me being useless and lazy. Then he sat there and told me if it wasnt for him I would still be homeless. Telling me he takled mom into letting me come back home. Not 5 minutes later he is saying how difficult its been for him to be nice to me. WTF. I started packing a bag last night to hit the road again. between him and the voices picking on me I just want to be away from them.  I spent most of my year last year on the road running because I thought people were trying to kill me. It was a hard year not talking to my mom or my brothers much. Im glad I made it but some people just make it hard.

Ok I am done ranting right now. Time to sit down with my sketch pad and calm my mind. Have a blessed day everyone.

Heather Cole
3/5/2018

Wanting Silence

Wanting Silence



Silence...even just for a few moments.
Silence...from all their arguments.
All crammed into my head at one time.
Slowly making me lose my mind.
One by one over time they come about.
Claiming to be helping me out.
Every time I could not cope.
They would give me a false sense of hope.
Hiding me away deep inside.
So they could deal with the outside.
So please a little silence while I they sleep.
Silence so I can take a peek.
Just to see if its safe for me.
Or if I should just let them help me.


Written By: Heather Cole
                    9/4/17