Lost Then Found

Lost Then Found

This is a barbed wire tree I had done a little over a year ago. It wasn't finished and then I got lost again. Hearing voices and running from things I am not sure were really after me. It all started when my boyfriend at the time stole my car and took from Arkansas to Mississippi. He kept telling me he was coming home soon. I tried to report it stolen and police said since he was my boyfriend and we lived together I couldn't file charges because I let him use the car. The car had been gone few days by then. Little did I know he had the car stolen from him by the woman he went to Mississippi to save. After 14 days I finally tracked down my car. Sold everything we owned and found ride down to Mississippi to file charges. Car was totaled, courts would only issue warrant for joy riding and damages, and I was trying to figure out way to get him and her charged. That is when I lost my mind again.

This is the same tree. I call it  Lost Then Found.  Everything on this tree has been found while clearing 3 acres of land at my moms here in Arkansas. I am taking my meds and feeling better for the most part. I am still hearing voices and having problems leaving house but I am trying. I work 5 days a week for about 3 hours a day. I clean 2 different cat rescues that I do alone and don't have to worry about people or noises bothering me. High pitched sounds for some reason make me angry and sudden loud sounds scare me. I would rather stay home and work on artwork and out in yard instead of deal with people.

Today I went with my best friend Rusty to have a burger and a beer for dinner. We went to local bar I used to hang out at often. We ate and drank a beer. Wasn't long and I was ready to go though. The people playing pool were getting loud and more people were coming in. Started getting scared, trying to figure out best way to get out of there if someone were to try and get me. The voices started telling me I had to go, I wasn't safe, they would kill me. So very happy my friend didn't mind taking me home so soon. Feeling safe and secure right now.

Well have a great day all. Time to work on more of yard and couple of art pieces.

Heather Cole

4/7/2018

Photos and Art By: Heather Cole

CRAPPY PEP TALK

Crappy Pep Talk

Thoughts moving so fast

Can't keep hiding from the past.

The past will only keep you down

Let it out and lose that frown.

Once it's off your chest

You will finally get some rest.

Speak the words is what you must do

Once it's done you will feel new.

Or put down with pen and paper.

You will thank me later.

Written By: Heather Cole

                     11/2/2017

Well it's 5 am and I've had about 3 hours sleep. Can't seem to shut things off lately. So got up and decided to post a pep talk I wrote for myself. Hoping the rest of week goes better. Have a great day everyone.

Heather Cole

Before The Lies

Before the Lies

What a lucky woman I am.

I found the sweetest man.

He has dreams and drive.

Can't wait to watch him thrive.

He has the biggest heart I've seen.

Just makes my heart scream.

His eyes carry me away to a dream.

To a day where we make it as a team.

The arms he wraps around me in bed.

Have stopped the voices in my head.

He has a mind and uses it well.

Makes me happy can't you tell.

The words flow out and make me think.

I may no longer be on the brink.

I'm always surprised by the things will say.

Makes my mind work more each day.

He lifts my spirit up so high.

Makes me proud to call him my guy.

He has brought out the part of me I thought was lost.

So I will forever try to keep him at any cost.

There is so much to say.

Maybe I will write more another day.

Written By: Heather Cole

                    5/7/2017

Found and Goodnight

Found

I've traveled coast to coast.

Searching as if you were a ghost.

When I thought all was lost.

Our paths finally crossed.

Meeting you has brought me peace.

I can finally feel at ease.

You bring me to myself.

The part of me hid on a back shelf.

Written By: Heather Cole

                    4/2017

Goodnight

The day has come to an end.

My body aches when I bend.

I seem to be on the mend.

My mind is calmed down.

I've almost lost my frown.

So time to put on a soft nightgown.

Written By: Heather Cole

                    3/21/2018