I'm Back

I'm Back

      I last blogged on August 31, 2018 and it's been a rough year.  So I'm going to start off where I left off.  Port O'Connor Texas ...

       My friend Larry and I decided to move in together in Port O'Connor. I just needed to get back to Arkansas, get packed, and get my meds back in me. 

      

         These photos were taken the day I left Port O'Connor. Both of us crying and he kept saying I wasn't coming back.  I told him I would be back soon and I wasn't going to be gone long.  We had been friends for so long and I was excited about coming back.  It wasn't long after I got to Arkansas that things started  to change.  Larry showed me a new side of him I never knew.  On NOVEMBER 10, 2018 I got a phone call from Larry's step dad.  He had found Larry when he came home, he had hung himself.  I beat myself up for not knowing or not trying hard enough.  I know now I couldn't have saved him.  Also there was so many things he had his from me. 

        So Larry dies and just my luck Ronnie my ex, who already destroyed me once before, came back into my life. Crazy me thought things would be different but they weren't. From November 2018 to May of 2019 Ronnie and I tried us again.   In the time we were together again I was homeless, alone, off medications again, and sending money to Ronnie in Oregon. Here is the poem I wrote for him just before he left.

Portland Bound

Got ok from shrink today.

Doctor said I can go home Yeah!

I look at the exit and I see,

His gorgeous face looking back at me.

All week long not able to see him.

How did he know I needed him again?

The doors opened up and my arms opened wide.

One long hug that melted me deep inside.

"Baby your smile is back.

Now go grab your backpack.

I was headed to Portland Oregon but come back.

I needed your happy face looking back at me."

Now a few days later and time to leave.

His ticket in hand, bags packed and fresh shave.

Inside I'm crying and hate today.

Reminding me I'll be on my way in a few days.

Poem by: Heather Cole

                   12/6/2018

I think this was a good start. Will post more about this last year tomorrow.   Here are few photos to enjoy.

         

CRAPPY PEP TALK

Crappy Pep Talk

Thoughts moving so fast

Can't keep hiding from the past.

The past will only keep you down

Let it out and lose that frown.

Once it's off your chest

You will finally get some rest.

Speak the words is what you must do

Once it's done you will feel new.

Or put down with pen and paper.

You will thank me later.

Written By: Heather Cole

                     11/2/2017

Well it's 5 am and I've had about 3 hours sleep. Can't seem to shut things off lately. So got up and decided to post a pep talk I wrote for myself. Hoping the rest of week goes better. Have a great day everyone.

Heather Cole

ENJOYING NEW CAMERA !

Enjoying New Camera

Enjoying my new camera. Photography is another way I manage my thinking. Have been having hard time the last couple weeks with not sleeping, anxiety and voices also. Most of these were taken around my rock garden at home.  Hope everyone enjoys these.

Have a great day everyone !

Photography By: Heather Cole

                             3/24/2018

Rescued Baby Bunnies

RESCUED BABY BUNNIES

Well my brother saved 2 little baby bunnies this weekend from a snake. They are to cute and they are doing great. Eyes just opened up Sunday morning.

Giving wood art a try.

GIVING WOOD ART A TRY

So as I have been out walking on the property where I live, I have noticed old trees rotting. Tree limbs, stumps, whole trees and as I look at them I see they can become something else. So here I go on something to occupy my mind.

Dancer

Moose

Evil face

I will post as I finish them. Should be interesting.

Heather Cole